This post is not an effort to get sympathy. I don't want any. I'm fine and my ankle is getting better quickly. Tomorrow I'm starting heat training. This hiatus from running has given me an opportunity to organize my stuff for MdS. I leave on March 29th!
Here's the point, although the physical pain of a dumb sprained ankle was not disabling and my life is going well, I have had some big troubles with my emotions. I don't know if I'm self-medicating with the exercise or my hormones are greatly affected by injury and pain but 5 of the last 6 days have been emotionally tough. I'm not one to admit this stuff and Addison's people think everything is usually hunky dory with me. It's not always great and I don't always feel awesome. You Addison's people all need to know that!!
I've been tearful, sleepy and unmotivated, very untypical of me. Here's the timeline of my meds:
- Wednesday, fall down go boom, take 40 mg HC extra on top of 25/day usual
- Thursday, owie and mental stress of 17 year old son and doctor appoitnments, 50 mg HC for the day
- Friday, extra 10 mg on top of 25/day. Son suspended for 5 days (Me punished for 5 days for being a bad parent is more like it, the kid gets a vacation!). I WAS A WALKING DISASTER.
- Saturday, talked to Ashley and had a good talk, suspect thyroid might be implicated in my crying and whining behaviors. Took temp, 97.1 took an extra 6.25 mcg of T3, crying slowed to a crawl and temp went up to 98.1
- Sunday, tired and took it easy, whiny
- Monday, feeling more like myself especially after a good, strong mile. Slightly tearful.
- Tuesday (today) temp low, took an extra 6.25 of T3. Still feeling a little icky. Ankle feels much better. Meeting with PT today and will discuss self-medication with exercise!
What I'm getting at is that my emotional state DOES NOT MATCH MY PHYSICAL INJURY. There's more going on here whether it's lack of exercise or injury causing other hormones to be off. Addison's people, it's important, when you're injured, to talk to someone else and get an objective opinion about your situation so you can feel better quickly. Are you taking too little HC, too much, need to increase T3, need to go for a walk? Remember, you're not alone.
There's little to no research on Addison's and exercise, Addison's and minor injury, we've got to work together and share our experiences to come up with practical solutions!
God All Mighty, Dusty, You have a right to whine, cry, cuss and do whatever comes out of you. You have prepped for MdS for so long, then the sudden shock to your mind/body/psyche of possibly missing this with an injury!!! A normal persons adrenal would have given them so much cortisol it would have filled a quart jar.
ReplyDeleteI am happy that your ankle is just a minor sprain. You will be good as new in a few days. The shutdown time has to have been good for you, and that, too is probably much of what is ailing you, going from intense training to nothing, with added stress from multiple directions, well, you are reacting like most of us would have.
Your thyroid is out of my league, I have no answers for that, I medicate with HC, and don't worry about thyroid, but I am going to find out more soon about mine.
The stress of what you went thru would have been BIG for me. I am not the tearful type, but I would have been sick. Very sick. I would have taken more HC than you did, but that is me. You know you best. And to me, it would not have been the injury itself that affected me the most, but the mental strain of trying to deal with all that just happened.
You are fine, you are tough, (that one is easy) and you persevere. And you are lucky this was not more serious, and did not happen right before you were to leave.
I am not giving you "sympathy", but understanding. I have never used my disease as an excuse for so called weaknesses in my personality, but I am beginning to see the light, more and more, about the wide-ranging affects that Addisons has on our lives.
The stress of MdS coming up would have been enough to affect me. That added stress was like a sudden crisis, in my mind.
Thank you, Dusty, for sharing such personal details with all of us, it helps us, it helps you, more than you may know. We are all learning, and this blog, and your support site, are very very valuable. Ken
Dusty, I sent a nice long message, but when I came back here to look for it, not here!!
ReplyDeleteBriefly, It is the mental stress, not the minor injury that is affecting you. Think about the shock to your body/mind/psyche at the moment you injured yourself. It was like a sudden crisis!! And then going from intense training to idle over night?? My gosh, that alone would drive a "normal" person bonkers.
But the stress. And then your son mixed in there, I would have been a mess, too. I have never used my Addisons as an excuse for flawed behavior, but I am beginning to learn, more and more, how wide-ranging the disease affects our lives.
I am happy your injury is minor. You will be good as new in a few days. You are also lucky as to the timing. But you know all that.
You are tough (that one is easy) and will persevere. Personally, I would have taken more HC, Just me. But I would have felt that Nausea coming on, and, yep I jump on those symptoms.
Thank you for sharing all these personal details, Dusty. It is good for all of us, and that includes you. Now, get going!! You are just a normal Addison's person feeling what any of us would feel! Ken :>)
Oh Dusty I empathise with so much you have written here! You've described it all so well and obviously have a very high self-awareness. I hope you will continue to have patience and kindness towards yourself.
ReplyDeleteI'm due to get another blood test done as the last suggested I'm a bit undermedicated thyroid-wise. I could have told the nurse that myself! Always just slightly tired, feeling like I'm dragging myself around, less willingness to do workouts, more willingness to sit on the sofa, slightly raised anxiety levels and moodiness .... I should have just insisted on upping the meds straight away and not waiting for the second test.
Anyway, continue caring for yourself and don't underestimate the underlying stress of preparing for MdS.
You know, I am so bad about taking owndership and control of my medical stuff. I am always so afraid of over medicating. I know you know what I am talking about. I stand in awe of how you have taken control and how you actively pursue the medical interventions that you need. Dusty, not a day doesn't pass that I haven't thought about your qwest. I do have bead. I haven't sent it. I can't until next Tuesday. Is that too late?
ReplyDeleteI'm still searching for a doctor who will help me figure out how to balance everything. I have secondary addison's with thyroid and blood sugar issues.
ReplyDeleteI only take cortef then plus synthroid for thyroid but I'm very sensitive to changes in dose of cortef and I change often because of a lot of illnesses. I'm always in a roller coaster that the family doctor doesn't understand.
It's good to read of your ups and downs. It helps.
Keep paving the way Dusty!! We all need an electronic hug every now and then, especially when we "electronic Addisonians" are limited to support thru mostly electronic means. Your life is so connected to the running spirit, it is no wonder this punched you around a bit. Keep it up. You may not see us but we're CHEERING you on in the electronic side-lines!!!!
ReplyDeleteLana C.
Ken, thank you so much for your kind words. You have such a positive attitude and it came through in your comment. You made me smile, thank you!
ReplyDeletePip, thank you! How are you doing?
Linda, good luck today and I hope you are having lots of fun with your kids! Tuesday will probably be good. It will probably get here Monday which is plenty of time.
Hi Holly! Thanks! You might want to put a post on the forum www.addisonssupport.com and ask others about which doctors are good in your area. :)
Lana, thank you too! I'll be hearing your cheers from Africa. Only 9 days until I leave and 14 until the race starts. Wooo Hoooo!
XO
Dusty
Dusty,
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you are going through. Exercise makes us feel good due to endorphins and feeling of accomplishment and just appreciating the environment. When we suddenly are forced to stop its like a drug addict quitting cold turkey. When I injured my back and then got sick several months ago it was very difficult emotionally. I told myself that although I know exercise makes me feel better, I have to look for other things in life for those times when I can't exercise. I sort of suprised myself that I was able to do that to some extent. Now I am swimming and walking, but darn it I want to ride my bike and run. But I am not going to do those things until my back is better, that is my mission right now. Hope your recovery goes well.
Dusty,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I think you are super smart and really informed on medical issues but I never think that everything is always fine with you (or anyone else for that matter). I admire your honesty. When I am super stressed (physically, emotionally) or under a lower level but chronic stress almost every bit of me gets out of whack. My thyroid, though usually under control, is easily effected by other things going on in my life. I get migraines. My mood is volitle and I'm just out of sorts. By now maybe things have leveled out for you. My guess is that your tears and emotions are a combination of your accident/injury, life, thryoid and anticipation of your trip. Hang in there and take your steroid and thyroid meds as you feel you need them. It is smart to check yourself with someone who knows you but you also have a very good instinct and that still seems to be intact.
Kristen R.
Joel, thanks for sharing your experience and understanding!
ReplyDeleteKristen, good advice, checking in with someone who knows me!
Thanks to all. The ankle is better but is definitely going to be an issue. :(
:) Dusty