Sunday, December 31, 2017
"As for sickness: Are we not almost tempted to ask whether we could get along without it?" Nietzsche
As for adrenal insufficiency and hypothyroidsm, could I get along without them? The simple answer is, "yes". More complex answer is, that I wouldn't be who I am now without them. Chronic illness forces you (if you want to be healthy) to eat well, sleep well, maintain a degree of fitness, learn about your condition and to advocate for yourself. After you're done doing all of your pills for the week or month, all of the above items are nearly a full time job. We are forced to be efficient with our time so we can fit it all in. Our social networks change, to be healthy we have to socialize with others who have similar conditions so that we can find knowledge and experience. Doctors simply are incapable of understanding and comprehending what it takes for us to be healthy physically. Often, they are such poor advocates for us, they make us feel worse physically by neglecting to know anything about adrenal insufficiency. Hell, sometimes they attempt to kill us by withholding emergency injection kits or will not allow us to have enough steroids on a daily basis to live a decent life. They have no clue about comorbid conditions and then have the nerve to tell us we are hysterical or depressed. (You all know how I feel about most physicians. I'll stop.)
My point is that I and probably you are not who we would be without our sickness. I constantly fear dying either by a doctor's mistake or by my own stupidity. For this reason, I live every day to its fullest. I set my goals high. I do stupid things that would make for good stories if I die doing them.
Yes, I could get along without sickness but I wouldn't be who I am today. I don't think I would want to challenge myself as much physically, mentally and emotionally if I knew I had time and knew my body was going to hold up. Would I live each day with the fear of death like I do now? Probably not. Would I get as much accomplished if I didn't have sickness? No, I'd think I had time. I don't and you probably don't either. Get out and do while you can.
Another thing I could not get along without are the friends I have made and become reacquainted with along this 16 year journey. I love you all and appreciate you. I thank you for being here for me when I need you, when I need a sounding board, when I just need to vent and for a kick in the ass when you think it's appropriate. Without sickness, I would not have you. I could not get along without each and every one of you. You are the voices in my head when I need help (Wanda!). Sometimes you're the voice on the other end of the phone when I need my husband talked through giving me a shot at the peak of a hurricane (Ashley!).
Thanks to you all for reading this and for being part of my life, many of you for lots of years. Love and hugs to you all! Happy and healthy 2018 to everyone.
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