Three week post surgery update-weakness

Last week, I went to Tampa for my follow up.  Lots of talking ensued.  The doctor was impressed with my shoulder.  He gets paid the same if he puts in one anchor or six.  He put six in my shoulder.  Some people can take their sling off at four weeks, not me!  I have to wait six weeks.  Some people can start running at two months, not me.  I have to wait three because I had such impressive damage.

He told me I'm allowed to walk as much as I want.  I asked him what my limit was (anyone who is an ultrarunner knows this is a very reasonable question).  He couldn't come up with a number as no one has asked him that question before.  His biggest concern for me was that I walk on a treadmill inside so I don't grow fungus in my armpit.  At the moment, I'm not capable of walking.  It's too painful and my energy level will not permit it.  We are in the middle of moving and packing and cleaning one armed is sucking the life out of me.  Next week, I begin to walk long distances!

I do want to sneak in here that I am streaking still.  I didn't tell the doctor.  I'm at day 913 of my one mile a day running streak.  I am running carefully, nonbouncingly and minimally.  Mentally, it has saved me.

Speaking of mentally.  I'm doing crappy.  I wouldn't say I'm depressed but maybe I am by some definitions?  I am tired and frustrated.  I had such big plans for post surgery.  Play games, catch up on emails, read and hang out with friends.  None of that came to pass.  Mostly, I stared at the TV once I found a position that was not painful.  I was unable to focus or concentrate enough to finish anything at all except switch TV channels.  

A couple of my friends have gotten very, very mad at me for not being who they needed me to be and for me not doing what they needed me to do and especially for me not behaving the way THEY thought I should.  I am sorry.  I have nothing to give right now.  Nothing.  A few people have asked how I was doing and when I said, "Bad" they just carry on and tell me how great everything is with them.  The vast majority of people have been so kind and wonderful.  They have gone out of their way to cut me slack, make me laugh, offer me advice and listen to me bitch.  For that, I am eternally thankful.  It's not fun to be weak.  It's a lot easier accept the quality of weakness when I'm treated with kindness.

Back to packing and cleaning.  We are moving out of this house in Punta Gorda on Friday and to a new home in Vero Beach, Florida.  I will miss my friends here!  I will miss the birds!  Don't worry, my husband has hired muscles to move boxes and furniture. For once, I will not have to carry heavy shit!!!

Thanks again to the friends who have been so wonderful and accepting of me and my current situation.  Thanks to my husband for making dinner each night.