Steroid guilt

There's a subset of people with Addison's Disease who are VERY hesitant to increase our steroids despite our body giving us clear signals that we need more steroids. I like to call this "Steroid guilt". I most certainly a sufferer of this STUPIDITY.

I think the more athletic Addisonian's tend to suffer the worst from this. We are used to putting our body through good pain and getting good results. We have conditioned ourselves to overlook the symptoms below, often until it's too late and we're really sick.

Those of us who suffer with steroid guilt will refuse to see these adrenal insufficiency symptoms as signs of needing to increase:

• low blood pressure
• nausea
• vomiting
• being cold to the bone and having a hard time warming up
• heavy arms and legs
• chills
• diarrhea, especially bloody
• inappropriate fatigue
• extended injury
• frequent colds
• frequent trips to the ER

We will go on about our days complaining of a persistent stomach ache or being cold, giving no thought to increasing our steroids or blowing someone off who suggests it.

Why do we do this?

I think it's because it's been drilled into us that we

a) will get fat if we increase our steroids

b) will get osteoporosis

c) need to be on the lowest amount of steroids possible at all times

d) we've seen others pop HC like candy, who suffer from Cushingoid symptoms, take waaaaay too much HC way too often. We don't want to be like them.

We completely disrespect our body by ignoring the fact that if we had working adrenals and have any of the above symptoms, our body would make extra cortisol. We force our body to work harder and be under stress longer and not heal as well because we are stubborn and feel guilty. It's stupid. I have done this over and over. I am committing to treating my body much better and listening to it calling to me with the symptoms I listed above.

You know what can happen if we ignore our body's cry for steroids, we can end up with vomiting and have to go to the hospital to get IV fluids and IV steroids (and it costs a lot of money!), we can end up with the diagnosis of IBS because we're not giving our intestines what they need to work properly, we can end up with cold after cold that might turn into pneumonia

You that don't take enough meds, you know who you are!

Think twice about complaining about the persistent nausea! Try increasing your steroids for a day.

Don't keep wondering why your BP is so low for days on end, don't attribute it to something else, try increasing your steroids for a few days!

Hear me complaining about nausea, low bp, being tired, don't hesitate to tell me to increase my steroids.

You get the picture! If you DO increase your steroids, you can ALWAYS drop back down to normal levels immediately. If you increase your steroids and you show signs of over replacement, drop back down immediately. However, if you increase your steroids and your symptoms go away you know you've done the right thing and perhaps you're training yourself better for the future. You may be potentially avoiding a trip to the ER.

This is too long. I hope someone has read and heard and will listen.

I'm legit now

It's official, I'm off the crutches and free to walk as much as I'd like. I made Dr. Mo Brown repeat that twice and threatened to tape record him saying it because I thought my husband and friends would think I was making up that statement. I brought the crutch (that I was not using much) to my appointment and was praised for bringing my "prop" along.

It's such a relief to be off the crutches legitimately. I've been using them less and less over the last few weeks. Dr. B says I should be back to where I was running wise in 4 - 6 months. What a coincidence, the Hardrock 100 lottery is today and the race will be held in 6 months and 2 days. Perfect timing! If I don't get into Hardrock this year, I will need to do another Hardrock qualifier this year so I can try to get into the lottery next year. Today is such an exciting day because I can start planning out my race schedule when I find out if I get into Hardrock or not. Either way, I'm excited to get my ass outside and into the sunshine. I've been homebound for nearly 3 months now.

On the endocrine front, I'm starting to feel much better. I'm still tiring out easily and sleeping a lot. I'm hoping that the addition of a little extra T4 and increasing amounts of exercise will get me mentally, emotionally and physically to where I was.

All is well!

Paper whites, icicles and snow

I hope I didn't give you all the impression that I'm running around crying all the time. I just wanted to make the point that I'm not always running around wearing Halloween costumes, smiling and laughing. I had a stomachache for about 3 weeks and I finally realized the cause which also manifests itself as being fatigued and glum. That would be low cortisol! My theory is that I was taking 25 mg of HC but my need was slightly more, like 25.5 or 27 and so on a daily basis I was running a little behind but not enough to make me say, "Hmmmmm, I'd better take some more HC." I upped my HC this week from 25 mg to 30 or 35 mg/day and amazingly (insert sarcasm here!) I got my appetite back and a little energy. Yahoo!

I've been cleaning houses as exercise. It's been an interesting study in efficiency since I can't carry things too well. It's making me silly sore in the arms too.

Tomorrow I meet with my physical therapist/personal trainer/athlete guy so he can give me some working out motivation that will not compromise my healing. I'm sure I'm doing enough on my own to compromise my healing.

Trumpeter Swan dwarfing the Canada Geese!!! TS are huge.

I can't get out in the snow but Dolly can. She loves it.

Dolly, a girl dog, is a medical miracle. She grew "balls". Not only am I healing like a 12 year old, I act like one too.