Things ain't always great...

Here comes a rant and no pictures. It's an Addison's and attitude rant. I'll be coming clean with feeling crappy.

I've talked to and emailed with some Addison's people lately and they're under the impression that I'm always perky and cheerful. Anyone who knows me in person knows this is NOT true. I'm often grumpy, completely politically incorrect and inflexible about doing things late in the evening or inflexible in general! Here I've given the false impression that "life's awesome all the time!" Just the other day my poor son said to me, "I wish you weren't hurt, you're very grumpy when you're hurt."

I can't afford to complain too much here in a public forum because the world can see it, clients can see it and family can see it. Who the hell wants to hear me complain?

If you're still reading, you DO want to hear me complain. The only way I've been able to cope for the last two months, keep working and do my volunteering has been to stop doing much house work, go to bed around 7 or 8 pm, take long baths, not do paperwork, skip showers (my hairdresser would be so proud to read this, she's been telling me to wash my hair less! Right Erika?), be more efficient with my responsibilities and not return emails. I've been a horror to be around. Always exhausted, crying, asking for things to be retrieved for me, relying on my husband and son to help me do my job, crying more, crying again, drinking too much booze.

I think I've been chronically underreplaced with my Hydrocortisone. Besides being exhausted, I don't feel like eating, even don't want to eat chocolate. I take 25 mg of HC a day and I'm hesitant to take more but this chronic stomachache is an indication that I need more HC. I had to cut out florinef because my BP was high for me 150/90. Sometimes I hate having to balance my hormones all by myself. Why can't my body do it for me? I was feeling like my thyroid was screwy, maybe it wasn't maybe it was just that I was walking around on a broken hip for months*? When I feel well, I don't mind the meds. When I feel bad and don't know what's what or when I blatantly ignore my undermedication symptoms, I freaking hate all this balancing and figuring and asking for advice. Luckily, no matter what's going on, I can count on being able to sleep. If I didn't have that, I would go bonkers. Actually the hip hurt so bad for about 6 weeks and I was having difficulty sleeping. I did think I might go bonkers. My family probably thought they were going to go bonkers too. I was prone to spontaneous outbursts of yelling, crying and bad language.

*I'm figuring the stress fracture started on May 28, 2009 during the Pocatello 50. I finally submitted to the MRI on December 29, 2009 and was diagnosed with the stress fracture that day. Pain went from an annoying ache in May to near inability to walk in early December. I purchased crutches weeks prior to my diagnosis, that's how much it hurt!

I'm going to shut up now. I've complained enough. I'm feeling well today. I'm feeling energetic and I'm not grumpy and crying or yelling at anyone, I'd better make the best of feeling good!!!

Many, many thanks to my husband for cooking and cleaning up the kitchen and for taking up my slack with my business and around the house. Thanks to my son for being kind to me when I wasn't kind to him and for helping me work. Thanks to all of my friends (Milissa, Joanne and Kim here at home) and all of my cyber friends for sticking with me and accepting me and my grumpiness. Thanks to my clients for not giving me the boot when I wasn't able to do much without help for the last couple of weeks.

Thanks to everyone for their kindness and support, it's meant the world to me!

Healing like a 12 year old! Yay!!

My new hospital gown that my Mom made for me, it actually fits and has multiple ties and buttons to insure I'm not flashing the world my stuff.




Left-January 17,2010 Right-January 4, 2010

Went to the ortho today and have great news! I'm "healing like a 12 year old"! Yahoo!!!!! In the picture above, the left is Xray from today, the right is the Xray from January 4th. The circles are the sites were the bone regrowth is occuring.

Blood pressure is down since I cut out florinef. 120/80 today.

I'm still exhausted and have been since I stopped exercising. I'm starting to think I was self medicating with the exercise and it was helping me to not be so tired.

Water running and spinning in small, increasing increments have been approved. Increasing weight bearing on the broken hip and 2 crutches has been approved.

Here's the general timeline, I didn't take notes so I could be off:

• 2 more weeks on 2 crutches with increasing weight bearing
• 2+ weeks on one crutch
• carry crutch around and walk like a human
• 8 weeks from now, resume walking
• 12 weeks from now, think about starting running

Feel the need to update

Sun setting on the corral at work

I feel the need to update but don't have all that much (positive) to say. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed. Very annoyed and tired of not moving!!!

The hip doesn't hurt but I'm also teetering around on crutches. I'm sleeping more, waking feeling good and by 7 pm, I'm wishing I were asleep. At least my mind is working most of the time. I'm getting really sick of the crutches. Luckily, I don't have to go out much but when I do, parking lots are sheets of ice and scary. I feel like an idiot riding around in the handicapped cart at the grocery store. My arms, chest and shoulder muscles hurt from using the crutches. Maybe I'm doing using the crutches wrong? I finished the Twilight series. Thank goodness, it was keeping me from doing other very vital things. I need a whambulance!

My mom made me a robe/hospital gown for the hospital. I'm tired of taking my pants off for everyone and his/her brother and sister. I'm subjected to ENORMOUS hospital gowns that are impossible to keep closed and trip around on crutches. It's in the mail and I'm eagerly awaiting it's arrival.

I finally got legitimate exercise for the first time in almost 2 months yesterday. I went to the Physical Therapy office and rode the trainer with no tension and only left legged for 30 minutes.

I'm considering upping my HC for a couple of days to see if it helps with the fatigue. Opinions? I'm at 25 (10/10/5), 88 mcg levothyroxine, 12.5 cytomel.

BTW with the sustained, ridiculously cold temps lately, it's a relief to not feel like I HAVE to go run long distances in the cold or on the dreadmill.

Pictures of stuff below.

People still feed their animals like this in Teton Valley

-24 at my house. Rime on the icicles. Foggy out.

More icicles with rime

Ice sculpture growing

Only 1.5 feet of snow. This will soon change.